This morning I dropped a plastic glass on my kitchen floor and as it clattered loudly on the tile, I expected my curious canine companion to come padding in and check out the noise. But Scooby-Doo, my wonderful miniature schnauzer had passed away a couple years ago, yet my mind and body still felt the memory of the jangle of his dog tags on his collar and his inquisitive woof. It made me a little sad, but mostly it made me smile.
Then I remembered other Scooby antics and my smile broadened. There were the nights when my husband would come to bed and Scooby would be laying on his side with his head on the pillow, covered by the blanket. It was our favorite prank.
Scooby loved treats. We trained him to lay perfectly still with a treat on each paw while he waited for the command to “Go Get It” so he could devour them. His little body would quiver with anticipation as he looked back and forth at the goodies that were so close. I giggle now thinking about it.
I miss him very much. I miss my parents too and many dear friends and relatives. We all miss those not in our lives anymore. But I found that connecting to happy memories keeps me centered and open to experiencing more joy every day. I choose to anchor those happy feelings.
Here is my recipe for Anchoring Joy.
Take a deep breath and think back to a happy memory.
How did it make you feel?
Warm and cozy?
Giggling and giddy?
Go over the scene in your mind. What were the colors? The smells? The sounds. Visualize it in your mind.
Do you have the picture in your head? Can you feel it in your body?
Take another deep breath as you hold that energy for a moment. Is there a word or feeling that comes up for you?
Say it out loud so that it becomes associated more strongly with the image you visualized.
Now lock it in. The goal is to be able to recall the good feelings and thoughts at anytime by recalling your word or feeling.
This is called an anchor – a tool used to bring us to an emotional state by associating a key word with a thought or feeling.
The anchor will keep you from drifting away from your naturally joyful state when you are feeling low.
I call out Scooby-Doo in a silly voice from the cartoon I grew up with. I can’t help but smile.
Hi. I met you last week at a networking event and yes, we exchanged business cards. We shared a few bits of information about our businesses and then you moved on quickly to someone else. I didn’t see you the rest of the evening to talk to you again so I could get to know you.
Yesterday, your newsletter arrived in my inbox. You offered me your specials and asked me to LIKE you on Facebook. You suggested I check out all your services and to contact you to order your products right away. I had to stop and think about where I met you. You see, there was no introduction to go along with your newsletter noting where we had met. No invitation to get together so we could continue our conversation. Nope. Just the newsletter in my email.
Unfortunately, this in-your-face approach is all too common and also the reason why many people are discouraged by networking groups. But maybe you are new to networking and don’t know that it’s important to build a relationship with someone instead of trying to sell to them.
Your newsletter reminded me of another “networker” I met a few years ago who circulated through the room and dealt out her business cards like she was playing a hand of poker and asked for everyone’s in return. The entire “card game” took less than 15 minutes and she left the event. The next day I received an email declaring what a pleasure it was to get to know me, followed by information on how I could build my business by buying from her.
You can bet I never called her. Which brings me back to you and your newsletter and my options.
* I can do nothing and let your newsletters continue to arrive
* I can simply unsubscribe.
* I can respond and let you know that while I appreciate you sending it to me, I am not interested at this time and please take me off your list.
* I can suggest we meet to begin the process of real networking so that we can get to know each other and work on how we can help each other build our businesses.
And then your next email arrived inviting me to your Grand Opening. Save the Date! Stay Tuned! With a promise of “Watch your inbox for more emails to follow very soon!”
My first instinct was to Unsubscribe immediately. You see, I’m not sure you and I will every be referral partners. But I truly am jumping to conclusions at this point and reacting versus responding.
I will email you. In the meantime, I will use a great new tool I was introduced to by my very innovative business coach, Dixie Gillaspie, that will allow me to manage my email while I decide how and when I want to respond.
The tool is called Unroll Me and it scans your emails each day and puts them into three categories that you have designated – Unsubscribe – Roll Up – and Inbox.
Unsubscribe needs no further description. Roll Up creates a summary of all your emails in a visual box format that you can scroll through and choose to read or not. Inbox keeps the emails you want to read streaming in. Unroll Me notifies you every day if new emails are detected and asks you how to categorize them. You can modify your choices at any time.
Unroll Me is free and can be found here. It has really simplified my email inbox activity and I now have more time for networking and following up with the people I meet.
Time to send you an email of my own to invite you to a “get to know you session” over coffee.
First I am going to “roll up” your emails!
Photo: Flickr Thomas Hawk
In a recent conversation with Laura Atchison, author of the Bestselling book: What Would a Wise Woman Do? Questions to Ask Along the Way, we talked about some out-of-the-ordinary places to network. Laura mentioned one of her favorites, is while waiting in line to check out at the grocery store.
You really can network anywhere there are two or more people, even at a funeral according to Dr. Ivan Misner, founder of BNI, the worlds largest international business networking organization.
So how do you begin that conversation while standing alongside the magazines and candy bars?
Laura says she asks people what they do when they aren’t in line and thus starts a conversation about their interests, work or otherwise. It’s important to consider that people often get their shopping done on the way home from work, or on their day off, so how someone is dressed may or may not reflect their occupation. Laura noted she has had some fascinating conversations.
I take a different approach. I love to connect on the food in their cart. If I see an item I haven’t tried yet I will ask them about it. Or if it is a food I have tried and really liked, I will tell them that as well. I might even ask what they are cooking. As long as time is not a factor, I don’t mind getting in line behind someone with a full cart, or cute kids, or wearing something interesting that I would compliment them on.
You never know where a conversation will lead. Recently, a woman buying ice cream told me that she was trying to cool down because her A/C was on the fritz. Within moments I had connected her to a reliable A/C repairman in my networking group that I trusted.
Sometimes the conversation is about occupation. Sometimes it’s about helping others. Either way, it’s about connecting with others in a positive, meaningful way.
Well, I’m off to do some networking. But first I need a few ingredients for dinner. Look for me in the checkout lane.
By the way, Laura and I, along with many other presenters will be speaking in January on the Reinvention Cruise, designed to help you discover your purpose and passion. You can check out the details here. Special pricing ends September 1.
Cruises are a great place to network too!